


The Spork Fic

by drugstore_poison



Series: The ___ Fics [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bad Sex, M/M, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, Sporks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:43:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8905459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drugstore_poison/pseuds/drugstore_poison
Summary: After a completely not expected series of events, Dan and Phil see themselves interviewing MCR. With the help of some friendly conversations and alcohol things get a little weird. Im so sorry for this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in August 2014 at around 3am under a lot of pain medication so don't work yourself over trying to find out what's going on because to this day i haven't been able to find a meaning to this piece of trash. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy. Sorry for terrible english.

(Dan P.O.V.)

I checked myself in the mirror one last time. Phil and I where going to interview My Chemical Romance. They had announced their reunion a couple months ago and the whole scene was a mess. It was such an honor that they chose us to do this interview but i can't help feeling like a nervous wreck. They were literally my childhood and i can't awkwardly fuck up in front of my heroes, specially in such an important occasion. 

I looked at Phil. He was trying to do the top button of his button up shirt but his hands were shaking badly. I chuckled at his nervousness and helped him button his shirt.

"You need to calm down or you'll wet yourself as soon as they walk in" I said as i fixed his shirt's neck.

"Shut up. It's not like you're not nervous too"

"Of course i'm bloody nervous! But this is the biggest thing we'll ever do. We can't fuck it up" 

He sighed. I turned back to the mirror and fixed my fringe for the hundredth time. I was wearing black skinny jeans, white converse shoes, my old MCR shirt i bought when i was 16 and a black jacket. Phil was wearing black skinny jeans, blue vans, a dark blue button up and a universe jacket. I went through thousands of outfits and i'm pretty sure Phil did too. I just hope they fit the occasion since this interview will follow me for the rest of my life.

*****

After half an hour of freaking out in front of the mirror, Phil and i were in an uber on our way to the hotel where the interview will take place.

I nervously tapped my fingers on my knees making a thudding sound. I'm sorry for Phil and the poor driver who had to endure it for ten long minutes. Phil sat next to me looking out the window, thinking. God knows what's going through his mind. He's probably thinking about not getting a boner as soon as Frank walks in. 

Yes. Phil has a huge gay crush on Frank Iero. He told me long time ago when i found some pictures in his phone. It was awkward to say the least. But i told him about the small crush i used to have on Gerard when i was a teen. 

Anyways, we got to the hotel ten minutes later. It was raining lightly. Phil and i rushed inside the hotel hoping our hair didn't get messed up.

(Mikey P.O.V.)

Dude this hotel is fucking awesome. I was currently playing table tennis with Ray. I, of course, was wining 10/3.

"I thought you said you were the best at table tennis?" I teased Ray with a smug smile. 

"I am! I just haven't played in a while..."

"Sure" I smirked at him, stricking another point. 

"You know what?! I'm done" Ray said, leaving the room. 

"Oh some on Ray! Don't rage quit! I'm sure you just need a little more practice" I ran behind him. We got to the hotel room where Frank and Gerard were talking to one of the camera guys. 

We were in London, about to do an interview for BBC. We were launching the first demo of our new album. It'll be a surprise for the interviewers, or that's what the BBC guys told us. I only know that the interviewers are youtubers, some kind of internet celebrities. This would be interesting. 

"Oi what happened Ray?" Frank asked in a terrible British accent.

"Nothing" he said, sitting down in one of the beds crossing his arms over his chest like a little kid.

Frank shrugged and joined the conversation between Gerard and the camera guy.

"Look, Ray. Let's just go back to play when the interview is over. I'm sure you'll win this time" I said, smiling slightly at him.

He shrugged and nodded.

"They're here" said the camera guy.

(Phil P.O.V.)

As soon as we stepped inside we were surrounded by people. They took us to a weird room that resembled a fancy bathroom and they did our makeup. Manly makeup. 'Cuz we're men. Yeah. Them we went through all the questions with the producers and made some changes here and there. The adrenaline was starting to kick in.

I felt like there were hugry lions in my stomach. I breathed in and out slowly to calm me down. Dan sensed my nervousness and placed a friendly hand on my shoulder, smiling warmly. I smiled back and calmed down. I'm glad i'm doing this with Dan. I wouldn't be able to do it by myself or with anyone else but him. 

"So, are you ready?" Asked one of the producers. I nodded, breathing out slowly.

They took us to the fifth floor of the hotel. The elevator ride went on forever and i jumped at the ding when we got to the fifth floor. Dan squeezed my shoulder again and i nodded, looking down.

We got out of the elevator and walked down the long hall to room 522. The producer guy opened the door and i held my breath. 

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

There they were, looking as perfect as ever. 

I felt a nudge on my right side and realized i was staring like a creep. I blushed and looked down.

"Dan! Phil! You're here!" said Mark. He was a producer at the radio show and a good friend of ours. 

"Hey Mark" I said, hugging him as he let go of Dan. 

"Ok so" he turned to the Gods "Guys, this is Dan and Phil"

I awkwardly greeted them, blushing more and trying not to look too nervous.

"So, shall we start?" asked Dan. Everyone nodded.

*****

We were sitting in surprisigly confy chairs in front of the Gods. The interview had started a few minutes ago and i was considerably less nervous. The awkward chuckles turned into legit laughs and my hands stopped shaking. Dan stopped tapping his fingers on the arm set and he talked more. I was having a really good time. 

"So um we have a surprise for you guys" said Gerard. We looked at him confused.

"Actually that's the reason why BBC invited us here" Frank added with his angelic, beautiful voice.

"We're launching our new demo in a couple of weeks" said Mikey.

"Oh my God that's awesome!" said Dan. You could see he was trying to hide his fan boy attack.

I just smiled widely. This is so awesome. I can't believe this is happening. 

"You don't talk much, do you Phil?" Fucking Frank Iero asked.

Damn it i was blushing. What do i answer?!

"Ummm i'm just a little nervous that's all" I decided to be honest.

"Oh don't be nervous. We don't bite" he fucking winked. Fuck. 

I chuckled awkwardly. I swear i grew ovaries and they just exploded.

*****

(Frank P.O.V.)

The interview went on for a couple more minutes. This guys were awesome and kind of funny. I could almost touch the awkwardness.

"Hey would you like to stay for some beers or something? You guys are awesome" said Ray.

"Ummm sure" said Dan. I smiled.

I couldn't stop looking at Phil. I don't know why. He's cute i guess.

*****

Acouple of beers later we were laughing our asses off. The camera gus had long left as well as Mikey and Ray. They mentioned something about shoving a racket up someone's ass?? Idk.

I was lying in bed with Phil while Dan and Gerard sat on the floor.

"And then the squirrel randomly attacked me!" Phil said.

I chuckled "How does a cute little squirrel just attack someone?!"

"I don't know!" We started laughing like crazy.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD" I heard Gerard shout. I stood up quickly and Phil almost fell off the bed.

"What's wrong?!" I asked.

Gerard turned around. He had cat whiskers drawn on his face and he was smiling widely.

"I'm a motherfucking ACTION CAT" he started laughing just like Dan. I rolled my eyes and turned to Phil.

He was trying desperatedly not to fall off the bed. I quickly took his hand and helped him up. We ended up lying really close to each other. I could feel his breath on my nose and swim in his beautiful blue eyes. For some reason i got a rush of need to kiss him.

"You're so fucking hot" Phil said.

"And you're so fucking drunk"

And i kissed him.

(Gerard P.O.V.)

Dan is so fucking cute.

"Do i look good as an action cat?" i asked, smiling sweetly at him.

"You look beautiful, Gee"

"Thank you"

I love his eyes, They're so warm and inviting. I don't know if it's just my drunken mind but i really want to fuck him.

But i can't-

My thoughts were interrupted by a weird noise. I turned around and my eyes widened.

Frank and Phil were totally making out. Frank was on top of Phil kissing him deeply. His hips rolled sinfully against Phil's. Small muffled moans filled the room. I felt myself starting to enjoy the view. My breathing was slowly getting faster and i could feel tingles bellow my waist.

I sliped a hand between my thighs and started rubbing myself slowly. My head snapped back and a groan escaped my mouth. I could feel my dick getting harder by the second.

Suddenly i felt something on my thigh. And then i was being pinned down on the floor. I looked at Dan's bright brown eyes as he leaned down and kissed me. I inmediately kissed back. I felt his tongue against mine as his hands undid my tight jeans.

(Phil P.O.V.)

"i need you" I moaned against Frank's mouth. He quickly sat up and took his shirt off. His chest was fucking gorgeous. The sweat made his tattoos look sexier and his heavy breathing was contagious.

"I wanna fuck you" he said as he started to take my shirt off. I sat up a little and raised my arm so he could take my button up off.

As soon as my shirt was off he went down to my neck. He sucked and bit deliciously. I moaned and squirmed underneath him. His mouth is a gift from heaven.

"I wanna be inside you so fucking bad" he moaned against my neck. I rolled my hips up against him and he grunted "I... I don't have a condom"

"I-I don't fucking care" I said in a breathy voice. He groaned and rolled his hips down to mine one last time before standing up.

"No..." I whined, lying in bed with and aching hard on, messy hair and no shirt on. I turned to Dan and Gerard. My eyes widened at the sight. 

Dan had his hand down Gerard's pants and Gerard was moaning and squirming under Dan's neck.

I moaned at Gerard and Dan's moans. I was so fucking turned on.

Suddenly Frank grabbed Dan and pushed him on the bed with me. I looked at him confused as a little conciousness flickered through my brain. But it left as soon as Gerard joined us in bed with Frank. They were both holding something on their hands.

"We want to fuck you guys" said Gerard. I looked at him with wide eyes.

"But" said Frank, a dirty smirk on his face "We have no condoms"

"We can't just fuck you without protection" said Gee.

"So we had an idea" Fuck.

They looked at each other and down to their hands.

A straw.

Three napkins.

A potato.

And two plastic sporks.

"Do you know what we'll do to you?" asked Gerard.

Frank straddled me roughly and kissed me. I felt movement next to me. Gerard and Dan.

"I'm gonna finger you, baby" I heard Frank's raspy voice whisper. "I'm gonna have you begging for more. I'm gonna make you scream"

He moved his hand down to my crotch and palmed my pulsing erection. I moaned and squirmed under him.

"Then" he undid my jeans and burried his hand down my underwear. "I'm gonna burry that spork so high up your ass" I groaned. My nails started to scratch his back. His hand was a gift from heaven.

"Fuck me" I whispered "Fucking fuck me"

He ripped my pants off.

(Dan P.O.V.)

"I can't do this" Gerard whispered on my ear. I looked at him confused, my dick taking over my thoughts.

"Why?"

"I don't top"

I smirked. "I can" and so we changed positions.

"I wish i could fuck you" i whisperedon his ear. I slipped my hand under his pants. He moaned.

"I'm gonna shove so many things up your ass. You won't be able to walk for a week baby"

I took his jeans off as well as mine. We were only standing in our boxers. I turned to Frank and Phil and they were also just in their underwear. I drooled over Frank's tatoos. I always thought his tattoos were hot as fuck. I was getting lost in them when i felt something against my crotch. I moaned and turned back to Gerard.

"Just fuck me now" 

I smirked. "Gladly"

I hooked my fingers under the waistline of his boxers and pulled them down teasingly slow. His dick looked delicious. I moaned at the sight and felt Gerard shudder under me.

"Open your mouth, sweety" I said, shoving three fingers in his mouth. He sucked and hummed around them, coating them in saliva.

He got my fingers nice and wet. I opened his legs and teased his hole with my index finger. He moaned and ground himself down on my finger, penetrating himself.

Two, three fingers inside him. He was a moaning mess underneath me. I purposely nudged his prostate, The spork would do the work later.

(Frank P.O.V.)

I had my fingers inside Phil. He was so tight i'm sure he never got it up the ass. He had a pained expression on his face but it soon turned to a pleasured one when i hit his prostate. He cried out and pulled himself towards my fingers.

I waited until his hile loosened up a little and i pulled off. He let out a little breathy whine.

I turned to... Dan? I guess he's topping. 

I reached for the sporks and gave one to Dan.

"Why are we using sporks?" he asked.

"It's Gee and i's kink" he shrugged and took the spork.

I took my spork and licked the plastic handle. I moaned at the contact of the cold plastic against my hot, moist tongue.

I looked at Phil as i rubbed the plastic end against his hole. He looked terrified, but extremely turned on at the same time.

I pushed it halfway in. He let out a cry and grabbed the white hotel bed sheets. I stroked his thigh softly, trying to confort him. I saw his dick had gone soft so i started to stroke it softly.

After a while he got hard again. I buried the rest of the spork in and started thrusting violently.

He cried out. He had a pained expression in his face but i didn't stop. I kept thrusting until a moan finally made its way thorugh his lips.

(Gerard P.O.V.)

The feeling of cold, wet plastic inside me was glorious. I moaned loudly, shivering. Nothing could compare to the feeling of a spork inside me, not even Frank's dick.

A couple of minutes later i couldn't resist it anymre and came all over Dan's chest, moaning and spasming.

I was still on the orgasm high when i took Dan's dick in my hand and stroked. Just as he was about to come Phil's moans filled the room. That tripped Dan over the edge and he came hard.

And so Phil gave Frank a blowjob because, honestly, who wouldn't suck Frank's dick?

They fell asleep, naked and covered in cum. Thankfully Mikey and Ray fell asleep over the tennis table, a racket handle visible inside Mikey's ass.

The end.


End file.
